When I started blogging for the very first time, I hadn’t yet discovered the online business / entrepreneurial world. My writing was messy and I was still trying to find my feet.
Everything was new and exciting. I absorbed everything I could take in and was heavily influenced by the bloggers, entrepreneurs and experts before me.
As my passions grew and interests developed so did my appetite to build a business and be my own boss.
It was challenging, it was hard, but it was a lot of fun too. I’ve enjoyed every minute of it.
The focus as it was for many of us was about quickly gaining more followers, dream big, go big, and make your first 5k as quickly as possible!
I don’t not agree with this, but for me all I really wanted to do was write, help others and grow my business at my own pace, to be who I am even if it meant not going big. It just wasn’t me. I pull back if I feel forced or pressured. And it started to feel like a huge weight, relying on it as my only source of income.
Without realising it, I was so focused on the hustle, showing up daily and constantly. I am proud to say though I never lost integrity when it came to fostering genuine connection and community but it became more difficult, the more things grew. I knew how to grow my following and make money but it didn’t feel right although I felt the pressure.
And I am lucky, the clients came to me almost effortlessly. But there is still the stress and pressure you put on yourself especially when you are entirely responsible for your income and financial independence (no partner or spouse or family member has supported me financially in my business)
For the last few years, my energy and focus have been to hustle for the next big thing, whether it be a new launch, new product, service, more followers or project collaboration. It was a high that I constantly chased.
And it was exhausting, trying to keep up.
And I became in love with the look of something I just created. It was almost as though I enjoyed the creative process more than the result. The thought of how much energy I put into it exhausts me. No wonder I had no energy left to write or blog. But I don’t regret anything. It’s been a wonderful journey.
I’d always done things my own way but I still felt the pressure to create packages, nail my elevator pitch, define my target audience, perfect my sales funnel and in doing that I occasionally found myself disconnected to why I started this journey in the first place ..
And that was to write and blog, from the heart, to offer inspiration to others who have been on a similar journey. But I found myself increasingly focused on the next big offer or package, I stopped writing and blogging. Or when I began to, the strategy and end result started to take over. And the creativity and enjoyment of doing it diminished.
It was like having a business coach pinned to my shoulder, asking me why are you writing this, to whom and what is the end result you’re after? Which is all the right questions to ask when you are focused on growing a business. But it can also pinch the enjoyment away especially when writing or being creative is important to you.
But what happens when growing a business or empire is no longer the focus?
It’s almost taboo to admit that.
And sometimes has nothing to do with how much you value yourself.
Many business coaches will say, “You’re not valuing yourself, charge more!”
There is a lot of pressure to monetize everything you do. And there is huge emphasis in this industry to turn your passions into profit and have hundred thousand followers . And while that is amazing and great, it can also make you unhealthily obsessed to the point you can lose sight of what’s really important.
I wrote in my last blog, how I became drained and lost my spark ..
Call it burn out or whatever you like ..
The point is, I had to reevaluate what was important to me.
What I have learnt this year:
- I was putting so much pressure on myself to generate profits and income from my business so much so I lost the joy of what I was doing.
- I want to take off the pressure and need to increase my followers and focus more on engagement and showing up for those who are already there
- I want to simplify things and focus on blogging and writing again
- If I make money and people want to work with me, that’s great and I’m grateful for the opportunities but it is not my number one priority anymore.
- I want to take the pressure off from having to soley rely on my businesss to support my lifestyle and balance it out with a normal job (working in a field I’m passionate about)
- Joy and focusing on the enjoyment of things is now my focus
- I want to write and blog when inspiration hits, not because it is scheduled in my diary
I also wrote in my last blog post, that I rediscovered my love for psychology and if you’ve been following me on facebook and Instagram would have noticed I’ve recently enrolled into a degree, something I’ve put off for a long time. At this point I am doing it for my own interest and growth but we’ll see where it goes. To get more experience, I’ve also continued working in this industry part-time, as a client care officer so I can learn as much hands-on as possible from the clients and mental health professionals around me. This along with my writing will be my focus for now. I am still open to collaborating and working with clients but it won’t be something I’m “hustling” for.