The Untamed Life

With Tess

Strong Role Models And Weak Company

IN Journal, Self Development

The other day a woman I know well told me a story about a lady she recently hired, who hadn’t officially started working but had previously done months of training with to prepare her for the role. Let’s call her Anna (not real name).

The lady, Anna hired lets call her Sam. After months of investing time and energy into Sam, and a week before she was due to work Anna received an out of the blue email to tell her she has decided not to continue, without any explanation except “due to personal circumstances”. This decision couldn’t have come at a worse time for Anna. Anna considered Sam a friend by now and trusted her fully. But Sam left her in the dark and didn’t respond to her messages. Anna is a smart and well-established businesswoman who stayed up late at night trying to figure out wtf was going on.

Now, if they barely knew each other and it had only been a couple of weeks then I’d think it was okay. But I knew both and based on the situation it was totally unprofessional and confusing to be perfectly honest. Anna wanted to at least talk it out in person and was very nice about giving her the opportunity to do so.

But Sam knew she’d disappoint her and so it was easier for her not to say anything and opt out in the easiest way possible. As I write this, it triggers so many memories. How many people have had this happen to them?

Anna was obviously hurt and confused by this especially given the personal relationship they’d built.
She told me she doesn’t have time for ‘weak people’ and she’s right.

How many people in your life for whom you’ve invested energy in have just ghosted on you, without any explanation?
How many people have you trusted that just threw you under the bus without care but then play the victim
How many so-called ‘friends’ do you have who say “I’m here for you” but don’t stick up for you and just stay silent when It’s time to say something.
How many colleagues have you thought had your back but when the boss bullies you to leave, you never hear from again?

I told Anna about my experience and how each of the situations above has happened. It fucking hurt. It’s great how many strong role models I have in my life, from family to people in the community and other connections I’ve made that have become friends.

But a lot of the Company I’ve kept, it turned out are weak. It’s really difficult to talk about it but It’s true. And it depresses you, and what’s worse you can feel like it is your fault. People you think who have your back, disappear off the face of the earth when you need them. And you’re left wondering wtf happened. And who is really there for me. It’s been a big lesson for me.

I’ve always said to the people closest to me, I’d rather you be honest and bruise my ego temporarily than say nothing at all and potentially have the relationship ruined because one of us was too weak to have a difficult but necessary conversation.

But no matter how much you try, It’s impossible to understand human behaviour fully.
You will be disappointed and hurt.
Most of the time it has nothing to do with you.
And people will come up with all kinds of excuses.
Its true people are on their own journey and could be going through whatever, but only the weak ghost.
And only the weak are afraid, to be honest, and confront the truth.
And it ruins relationships, suffering a slow silent death.

I’ve been working through a lot of things with a therapist since last year, as a result of others who have no idea how much they have affected me.
And I am only now coming to accept that shit like this happens and you have no control over it.
But I have learnt skills from her to deal with it and look out for signs so that I can better protect myself for next time.

But some things in life you have no choice over,
but you can make choices that honour you.
And this year I choose strong company.

Working In A Psych Practice Has Opened My Heart & Mind

IN Journal, Pyschology, Self Development

Since Jan 2018 I’ve been working in a Psychology practice.

The position was offered to me at the time I was still working with marketing clients (I’ve since moved to another practice.)

At the time, I was given the opportunity to do a lot of marketing for the Company which initially drew me to want to work there as marketing was still a main focus for me. But because the practice got very busy I ended up conducting more client intake and supporting them throughout their whole journey with us.

And I didn’t expect the experience to influence me so much.

The role was intense. And often heartbreaking.

I’ve learnt so much about people.

I saw many cases, real complex problems and often very sad events humans live with, on a daily basis. From children as young as 7 years to 80 years of age. Of all backgrounds, with many different circumstances and family dynamics.

It’s been a real eye-opener. The job became my main priority. And I invested almost all my energy into it.
The other little bit of energy I had was wrapping up client work. After that stopped, I threw my all into this job.
Before I knew it, I was emotionally and mentally drained. The last thing I wanted to do was spend time on social media.

I kept saying I’ll get back to The Untamed Life, and then month after month passed and before I knew it, it was Christmas. I was never supposed to take that much time off but I obviously needed to.

At times I had to manage crisis calls, emotional and often angry clients at the desk. I was even sometimes manipulated.

It wasn’t an easy role but the experience has given me raw insight into human behaviour and the experience has given me a new appreciation and understanding of people.

It’s made me realise how naive I’ve been. And how curious I’ve become.

The often tragic realities of every day, people really opened up my heart and mind. It also reignited my interest to study psychology .. for what will be my third attempt since graduating high school more than a decade ago ..

It’s like I’ve come full circle. And I am finally ready!

Something I had once wanted to pursue but long forgotten about.

Although much of my work has revolved around it, It’s time to go deeper with my first class starting next week.

Last year gave me the breathing space I needed to re-evaluate where I am.
I’ve since shifted my focus and direction (see previous blog)

Now you can expect more of what I am learning from my studies to be incorporated into some of these blogs.
Hopefully, it will add more depth and make the blogs more interesting to read.

And I can’t wait to write more!

My focus has shifted

IN Journal

When I started blogging for the very first time, I hadn’t yet discovered the online business / entrepreneurial world. My writing was messy and I was still trying to find my feet.

Everything was new and exciting. I absorbed everything I could take in and was heavily influenced by the bloggers, entrepreneurs and experts before me.

As my passions grew and interests developed so did my appetite to build a business and be my own boss.
It was challenging, it was hard, but it was a lot of fun too. I’ve enjoyed every minute of it.

The focus as it was for many of us was about quickly gaining more followers, dream big, go big, and make your first 5k as quickly as possible!

I don’t not agree with this, but for me all I really wanted to do was write, help others and grow my business at my own pace, to be who I am even if it meant not going big. It just wasn’t me. I pull back if I feel forced or pressured. And it started to feel like a huge weight, relying on it as my only source of income.

Without realising it, I was so focused on the hustle, showing up daily and constantly. I am proud to say though I never lost integrity when it came to fostering genuine connection and community but it became more difficult, the more things grew. I knew how to grow my following and make money but it didn’t feel right although I felt the pressure.

And I am lucky, the clients came to me almost effortlessly. But there is still the stress and pressure you put on yourself especially when you are entirely responsible for your income and financial independence (no partner or spouse or family member has supported me financially in my business)

For the last few years, my energy and focus have been to hustle for the next big thing, whether it be a new launch, new product, service, more followers or project collaboration. It was a high that I constantly chased.

And it was exhausting, trying to keep up.

And I became in love with the look of something I just created. It was almost as though I enjoyed the creative process more than the result. The thought of how much energy I put into it exhausts me. No wonder I had no energy left to write or blog. But I don’t regret anything. It’s been a wonderful journey.

I’d always done things my own way but I still felt the pressure to create packages, nail my elevator pitch, define my target audience, perfect my sales funnel and in doing that I occasionally found myself disconnected to why I started this journey in the first place ..

And that was to write and blog, from the heart, to offer inspiration to others who have been on a similar journey. But I found myself increasingly focused on the next big offer or package, I stopped writing and blogging. Or when I began to, the strategy and end result started to take over. And the creativity and enjoyment of doing it diminished.

It was like having a business coach pinned to my shoulder, asking me why are you writing this, to whom and what is the end result you’re after? Which is all the right questions to ask when you are focused on growing a business. But it can also pinch the enjoyment away especially when writing or being creative is important to you.

But what happens when growing a business or empire is no longer the focus?
It’s almost taboo to admit that.
And sometimes has nothing to do with how much you value yourself.

Many business coaches will say, “You’re not valuing yourself, charge more!”

There is a lot of pressure to monetize everything you do. And there is huge emphasis in this industry to turn your passions into profit and have hundred thousand followers  . And while that is amazing and great, it can also make you unhealthily obsessed to the point you can lose sight of what’s really important.

I wrote in my last blog, how I became drained and lost my spark ..
Call it burn out or whatever you like ..
The point is, I had to reevaluate what was important to me.

What I have learnt this year:

  • I was putting so much pressure on myself to generate profits and income from my business so much so I lost the joy of what I was doing.
  • I want to take off the pressure and need to increase my followers and focus more on engagement and showing up for those who are already there
  • I want to simplify things and focus on blogging and writing again
  • If I make money and people want to work with me, that’s great and I’m grateful for the opportunities but it is not my number one priority anymore.
  • I want to take the pressure off from having to soley rely on my businesss to support my lifestyle and balance it out with a normal job (working in a field I’m passionate about)
  • Joy and focusing on the enjoyment of things is now my focus
  • I want to write and blog when inspiration hits, not because it is scheduled in my diary

I also wrote in my last blog post, that I rediscovered my love for psychology and if you’ve been following me on facebook and Instagram would have noticed I’ve recently enrolled into a degree, something I’ve put off for a long time. At this point I am doing it for my own interest and growth but we’ll see where it goes. To get more experience, I’ve also continued working in this industry part-time, as a client care officer so I can learn as much hands-on as possible from the clients and mental health professionals around me.  This along with my writing will be my focus for now. I am still open to collaborating and working with clients but it won’t be something I’m “hustling” for.

Hey Tribe, I’m back (and I apologise)

IN Journal

Hi tribe!

Writing this blog post after more than a year feels so awkward for me.

But I do hope you know I am grateful for you and I want to say thank you for being there.
It hasn’t been easy.

First up, I want to apologise for being so absent. It really was unintentional.

I was still working with clients but I was struggling to show up online like I used to.
I wanted to but I was exhausted. I lost my spark and I was having a hard time aligning to what fueled me.

I felt disconnected and so close to giving up on this.
At many points, I was very tempted to just throw in the towel.

Life was moving so quickly, I had taken on more than I could chew, circumstances and situations left me feeling off centre.
And whilst I had a beautiful sea change, I couldn’t find inspiration to do the things that once gave me joy.

I used the move to rest and let parts of me heal.
Unexpectedly, I was offered a role that helped me rediscover a love for something that I thought I’d moved on.

I threw myself into this job, wholeheartedly. For just over 6 months it was going great until it wasn’t. Another experience, that reminded me of why I wanted to start my own business.

There is just no such thing as job security, no matter how much of your heart and soul you invest into it. You cannot rely on someone or something else to provide that for you.

So in the middle of this move and a new job, I found myself in a transition that felt like more like sore growing pains. It still felt like I had a lot on my plate and it was overwhelming. So I put The Untamed Life on hold while I started the decluttering process.

I’m a multi-passionate person and find it very difficult to not over commit myself. So I found it particularly difficult to let go of a few things.
It was a time, I really had to figure out was important to me.
And ask the question, am I doing this for me or other people?

Two of these things were Doterra and a mastermind of girls I admire. I loved both. I still do. But unfortunately, after I made the choice to leave the mastermind, despite attempts to stay in touch, it was not reciprocated.

Doterra and the people in it are fantastic people but I hadn’t realised how much energy it would take as an advocate. I wasn’t prepared for the work it would take. I found myself putting Doterra above my own passions and it didn’t feel right.

The loss from this was not something I was ready for either. Suddenly those I thought had my back suddenly disappeared. I felt alone and lonely.

It was and is still something hard to process, and at times I’ve felt like giving up on my passions. Not just because I felt disconnected from others but I’d become disconnected from myself. And it is something I am still trying hard to work on.

Since being quiet in the social media / online business world, It’s been hard to pick up momentum again and reconnect. Was it that, people wanted to be around me when I was at my best? I was doing well in my business? So when I temporarily deactivated myself, it was no longer convenient or I was of use?

These are things I still struggle with and a reason I find it hard to get too close to people. One of the best investments I’ve made, has been seeing a psychologist. It’s been the first time since a bad experience in my teens.

I cannot believe I put this off for so long. There is a lot of stigma around it. But anyone can really benefit from seeing a psychologist. Sometimes it can be more helpful than speaking to a friend. At least a psychologist can help you assess what’s going on from a logical point of view and help you form choices that are in your best interest.

A lot has happened this year, and if you’ve been following me on Instagram or facebook you’re probably already up to date. I look forward to writing and blogging more.

Thank you again for being there and not giving up on me when I almost did.
Hope to hear from you soon.

Big love,
Tess.

How To Build Your Brand Equity

IN Business, Entrepreneurship, Marketing

When building our brand it can become easy to focus on one aspect. For example, how it looks. The design and aesthetics.

But that can only be effective when the other forces that increase brand equity are managed well.
The stronger your brand equity is, the more likely someone will choose your brand over someone else who does the same thing.

And remember, in today’s crowded market place, people don’t buy the thing. They buy the experience/value and what it represents. Why do you think people buy Apple products when there are better products in the market place. Because it represents a belief and philosophy that connects with their followers.

The way I look at a brand is akin to a multi layered sphere. There are many layers to a brand. The outer layer is the logo, design and visual elements. But what gives it meaning and substance and the pull factor is more than skin deep.

There are many layers to a brand

The outer layer is the logo, design and visual elements. But what gives it meaning and substance is so much more than just an image.

For example, the heart beat and voice of your brand, the story, the vision, philosophy, mission, etc. The stuff that is often overlooked when launching a new business. But we are not going to go into detail about that in this blog.

We all get carried away with the aesthetics and how our brand looks, It’s normal. However, we cannot avoid the other elements and layers for long.

Eventually, we’ll get stuck, and wonder why our brand is not gaining traction.  Sooner or later we will need to look at the other layers that make up our brand and have to answer some tough questions like why people should care. And even more importantly, why as a business owner you should care?

Why? Because if you want a brand that is unique and stands out without worrying about the competition, you’ll need to start focusing on all the layers that make up your brand, equity and value. That cannot be replicated. It is a lot easier to replace a logo, tagline or colour scheme than it is to replace the heart and soul of your brand (which is worth a lot more).

And in the rest of this blog, I will be breaking these layers down into 4 forces that get your people to go, YES! I CHOOSE YOU!

So what are the key forces that increase your brand’s equity or value

If these forces are managed well and consistently, brand equity increases. Ignore one and leave it out of your communications plan, equity decreases in value.

1. How it speaks & feelings it evokes (brand voice + heart beat)

Voice can be defined as the voice, style and tone you write in which reflects a belief, philosophy or viewpoint. It is born from the very heart of what your brand stands for. It communicates a certain feeling or emotion that resonates with your audience. It’s about how you want to speak to and be heard by your customer that is consistent with your brand’s personality and what it stands for. It takes some time to develop and won’t be effective if it is fake. If done well will attract your customers, clients and build your tribe.

Simon Sinek says, “We trust companies that believe what we believe”

2. How it looks (visual design)

This is where we get to be creative and express our message visually. Our image should reflect what our brand stands for. The visual branding is only effective when there is meaning behind it. That is why we need to place equal importance on the other forces. A good designer will be able to capture the layers that make up your brand, visually. While I do a lot of my own graphics + website stuff, I outsource my design often as my area of expertise is in other areas. It helps when you have a clear brief and knowledge of your brand for the designer.

Paul Rand says, ” A logo derives meaning from the quality of the thing it symbolises, not the other way around.”

3. What it stands for (philosophy and mission)

It helps to have an understanding of this before we develop our brand voice and design. People are drawn to us not because we look good or have a catchy tagline but because we share a similar mission and philosophy or belief. Sheryl Sandberg (Facebook, COO) says to find out what’s important to you and your Company and be willing to use your voice for that purpose. That is incredibly valuable. She says, if you’re doing it because there is something you want to see changed in the World, that’s where it will have value, depth and integrity.

4. How honest and transparent you are as a business

If the three other forces are disjointed or not aligned, it is very difficult to come across as authentic and honest. Brand equity decreases and it is a lot harder to build momentum and gain the trust of your followers. In the past, Companies may have been able to get away with it. Say whatever they want to close the deal, look sharp to make the sale. But with social media, you can no longer hide behind a stylish veneer disguised as a hero who claims to save the World. Today It’s about building relationships and you cannot build relationships on dishonesty, empty false promises or claims.

The brands that are doing well today are documenting their real selves, the journey and story. Failures and success included

“Honesty and integrity are by far the most important assets of an entrepreneur” – Zig Zigler

The last force I want to add is your execution strategy which is a given. And that will differ depending on your objectives and goals. And really, that’s another topic for another blog.

In summary: (brand voice + heart beat) x design x (philosophy + mission) x (honesty + transparency)  x execution strategy = brand equity/value

There are so many ways to explain what a brand is, why it’s important and how to build one that makes an impact and build equity. One thing for sure though, it is much more than how it looks.

It is up to you to figure out what’s important to you and your business and then communicate this. Work on the elements that pull your audience toward your brand and get them to say,
YES, I CHOOSE YOU.

When your activities are centred around this consistently and regularly, your brand equity will build.

T x

 

Set Up Your Website For As Little As $100 in 4 Easy Steps

IN Business, Entrepreneurship, Marketing

A common question that keeps popping up lately is how do I get my website started?

This is something that should be stress-free and feel enjoyable so it really pains me to see it overwhelm so many when it really isn’t necessary. And it really doesn’t have to be too pricey to begin either.

So in less than 16 minutes, I’ll show you just how simple and affordable the process can be with the knowledge and tools to give you the confidence in setting up your online presence (the same process I went through).

This is particularly important for me because I want you to feel good about sharing your message and story and what better way to do this than through a blog or website where your audience can learn more about you and the awesome gifts you offer.

You might have remembered the e-course I did in 2014 where it taught you how to set up your blog with bliss, well in this video I condense it down in 4 easy steps.

Now, of course, costs will vary depending on where you source everything and whether or not you hire assistance and support (these costs will vary a lot also), but this video will give you the very basics for getting started.

And..if you stick around to the end, I give you tips for brand consistency and even offer you a special bonus for a limited time only. Remember, if you enjoyed this video please let me know in the comments below and share it with your friends.

Tess x

Please note this is a very basic tutorial (does not cover every detail) to help you get started and costs may vary depending on where and how you set up. It is highly recommended to do your own research, seek advice and ensure your site has security measures in place.

Success Through Healing; An Unexpected Life Changing Experience

IN Business, Entrepreneurship, Journal, Spiritual

Find your purpose and it will never feel like you have to work a day in your life

<Edit: Please note, this course and affiliated offer is no longer offered>

Since embarking on my entrepreneurial journey in late 2013 after transitioning from a career as a remedial massage therapist, it feels like I have done a full 180-degree circle. The first big course (and only other one to date, other than my tertiary education) I did was in 2014 when I initially wanted to become a life coach. It was a pivotal moment for me in really kickstarting my spiritual journey, at least one I was consciously aware of. And it wasn’t the “green smoothie, active wear” kind of journey which mind you, put me off the whole thing until I learnt it isn’t about that at all. For me, my spiritual growth has been so integral to the growth in my business, like yin and yang it hasn’t been able to exist without the other.

Each of the big courses that I have invested in has really been an opportunity to dig deeper to my own truth and heal the parts of myself that are just waiting to unleash itself out into the World, to serve others and make an impact. And that takes time, patience and a whole lot of self – love.

This journey has also inspired me to want to work with healers, coaches and conscious driven entrepreneurs and business owners whose mission is to serve others with heart, build a platform with soul and make a difference in the World. It was in 2015 after yet another abusive workplace incident within a healing practice actually, go figure that I decided to finally do things on my own and become a VA (and not work full time for anyone else again).

It was during that time I felt more drawn to digital marketing and strategy work (interesting because I graduated in marketing and business at UNI in 2012 but hadn’t pursued it in the Corporate World). It was also a time, I felt a strong resistance to really work on my own healing and spirituality preferring instead to focus on my work and business which became my anchor and a huge part of my joy (it was probably the best distraction to my personal problems, a great way I thought to distract from the pain I was experiencing in my life at the time).

It wasn’t until early this year after yet another relationship break-up and big life change that I decided okay that’s it, “It’s time to break the cycle!, let go of past conditioning, learn to breathe, find peace and calm and integrate more of this crazy woo-woo stuff into my life!” (Never would I have imagined I’d be so into angel cards, enjoy meditation and crystals now!)  

And so I have worked with a couple of spiritual coaches to help me release some of my own baggage since (sometimes they will find you) which led me to be ready to join Soulpreneurs. I have to admit my first reason for joining was to refresh my knowledge with business and marketing and to learn something new. It also helped I felt a connection with Yvette, the course founder. But what I gained has been something much more than I could ever imagine. So special and life changing, both personally and professionally.

And then just recently after a magical four days away in Byron with my Soulpreneurs tribe, I’ve been reminded that the healing and growth work doesn’t really stop and in fact, it is necessary to help you get to that next level of success whether in your life or the work that you do. My experience over those days has been testimony to that as I went through my own breakthrough and mini transformation within myself. It was unexpected, it surprised me. And it has been life changing.

I have never ever spoken on a stage to a crowd of people before (and if you know me, you’ll know I’m working on my courage with this) but at this event I did, and with confidence too!. It has always been something I was afraid to do. And with the encouragement and support of my fellow Soulies, I did it. And the feedback was great.

I witnessed crying, and incredible breakthroughs from others too during our days together which has been so beautiful to see others share their stories so openly.

I’ve always been a deep thinker and observer of life and I feel like I have spent my life absorbing and integrating a lifetime of lessons since experiencing an almost fatal breakdown that happened over a decade ago. I believe we all go through what we go through for a reason, it all leads us back to the path we are meant to be on and sometimes it feels like a 180-degree circle until we get the message from the universe and it all starts to sync in like an accumulation of “ah ha” moments. And sometimes it takes huge events in your life to get a real perspective on what’s important.

And to me, finding your passion and then sharing that with the world can be one of the most important things you can do for yourself. There will be challenges and doubts along the way but usually it is our greatest work that will provide us with the most resistance. I cannot think of another group of women other than my own Untamed tribe who I would want to continue this journey with.

Soulpreneurs is a community and course to support you as you grow spiritually, step into your purpose and build a successful career doing what you love!

<Edit: Please note, this course and affiliated offer is no longer offered>

Yvette Luciano brings two decades of experience in marketing, events, business and a wealth of knowledge including personal experience to deliver a program unlike anything else that teaches you everything from:

 Building a profitable and soulful business
 Growing your platform and brand
 Writing books and becoming a published author
  Speaking and sharing your voice through events.
And more ..

As an official Soulpreneurs ambassador I’m proud to offer complimentary business and branding mentoring when you sign up using my unique link here and mention I referred you. Please contact me for more info. *t&c’s apply

The course offered is one I have experienced and can highly recommend whatever stage you are at. You can also enroll at any time & complete the course in your own time. It doesn’t matter where you are located. The support both physically and online including the value you’ll receive from the community is priceless!

JOIN SOULPRENEURS & RECEIVE BONUS MENTORING WITH ME

join Soulpreneurs using this unique link to receive bonus mentoring with me. Contact Tess for more info. t&c’s apply.

With love,
Tess

Do not make the mistake of underestimating authentic relationship marketing

IN Business, Entrepreneurship, Marketing

Today I logged into LinkedIn after several months.

Hit with about 20 automated messages from people I have had no prior connection with, I quickly skim read over it. Some looked like a personal message at first glance but after working with others in the past who used this tactic heavily to get new clients, I was already aware of how it all works. This is a reason I am not active on that platform. It feels icky, cold and always like you’re being sold to. And it always amuses me when these people try to employ the same tactics on other platforms. Applying the same tactics that may work elsewhere does not always equate success on other platforms.

Welcome to the new spam trend, coming to a social media platform near you

It’s already happening with Instagram and it irritates me. What’s worse, It’s being taught and encouraged by so-called top marketers where automated spammy messaging is the latest trend. They are saying things like, “why bother commenting or liking other people’s posts. You need to be direct messaging people and getting them on the phone”. Okay, so this can work when done appropriately, sparingly, consciously and in the right circumstance.

However in many cases, such tactics don’t work when a relationship hasn’t even been developed. One word, YUCK. Can you feel the ickiness?. Network marketers are often taught to do this, write a list of names whom they can contact and then follow up. Because according to them, it works. Yes, that’s because their targets feel cornered, lack the confidence to make their own decisions and are often at a desperate need seeking the help from a so-called ‘expert’.

I can pick three things from the top of my head that may lead to potential issues for the business pushing these tactics:

A) The messages are usually scripted so for one it feels cold and distant. It is disconnecting, not connecting.

B) The relevance of the conversation has not been established so the responder is probably confused as to how it will add value to their specific situation or problem.

C) This method has been used for years and years, It’s just been tweaked to suit the social landscape but there is nothing social about it. It just feels like a telemarketing call and often targets vulnerable business owners who don’t know a better way.

Some will argue, it has worked for many years. ‘Don’t reinvent the wheel’. 

I am going to argue, the space in which we do business is rapidly shifting and unless we adapt, tweak and respond in a way that is relevant to the market, it just won’t work. It’s like fitting a cube into a round hole. In this example, the cube space is the traditional marketing space. And the round hole is the digital marketing space. And the cube itself is marketing tactics employed from the 80’s. It doesn’t fit.

After being in this space for a few years now, I can predict how this system works whenever I am in the situation. I know exactly where the conversation is going, what the agenda is and the tactics being employed. It’s a huge turn-off. Because you don’t feel like you’re being listened to or understood (two key ingredients in great communication). I’ve worked with a number of coaches in the past who had very successful careers in the past and were trying to employ the same strategies from 20 years ago. They were wondering why things weren’t picking up but were adverse to change. Remember the analogy from above? That is the simplest way I can explain it.

There’s the popular style of events too that employ a similar icky funnel system and It’s overused and I can tell exactly how It’s going to go down as soon as I step into a room. I could tell you what will happen next when at these kinds of events.  I can also smell someone’s agenda a mile off (yes even through a computer screen) and I switch off immediately if I feel like I am being pushed especially when there hasn’t been a relationship established or no prior effort in engagement. And I know just like other conscious entrepreneurs I’m not the only one.

I call it the ‘Spray and Pray’ Effect

It’s like throwing a huge fishing net out hoping to hook as many eager fish as possible.

But people are catching on fast, things are shifting. Have you noticed?

There’s a rise of conscious entrepreneurs, courageous enough to not follow trends, soulful entrepreneurs, awakening, going against the norm, daring to be different.

It’s time to shake things up

A lot of business owners are so scared to do things differently, not trusting their own instincts or following what they know to be true to them so terrified they will get it wrong. I’ve been doing things differently, taking risks since day 1, watching, observing, learning, and doing things that work with integrity (and soul). And so have many other conscious entrepreneurs.

Guess what? I have not had any issues getting business. No, I am not a millionaire (yet), I have not invested in ‘get quick’ money schemes or courses that teach you how to become rich (although I have been poached) but if that is your only goal in life, then I am not the person for you. That is not what I teach. I teach others how to communicate to connect and stand out authentically online to attract their dream tribe and clients organically with sustainable and long-term success.

What’s my secret

Being real, and interested in others, listening to my audience and getting really good at communication and relationship marketing.

Focus on relationships (without an agenda), Be yourself, don’t give into trends so easily, let WOM spread, make an effort to engage and as a result, guess what happens?

The momentum will build and you won’t have to push so hard with your marketing efforts. Eventually, clients and customers will be drawn to you because you were true to you, they followed your journey and connected to your story and how you relate to them. You let your real authentic magic shine through and were brave enough to stand out.

If you’re not interested in communicating and building genuine relationships authentically, forget it. And in the words of Gary V:

“You cannot underestimate people’s ability to spot a soulless, bureaucratic tactic a million miles away. It’s a big reason why so many companies that have dipped a toe in social media waters have failed miserably”

If you’re keen to learn more about communication that connects and how to be more confident in sharing your story and message, check out the mini course I offer over here

Have a great weekend!

Big love,
Tess

Why I do What I do & My Bigger Why

IN Journal, Spiritual

When you’ve been to the edge of life and have nothing to lose, you think “why the hell not” and realise you have everything to gain !!

There are so many of us who are deep but don’t feel comfortable to share and you know who suffers the most? Young people in the school system who are trying to make sense of their emotions, those who feel deeply but aren’t getting the support they need.

In some cases, this will lead to suicide because people no matter who they are, young or old, rich or poor, straight or gay cannot cope or have the tools or skills yet to deal with the intensity of it.

If I can help or inspire just a handful of people through the words I share, through the work I do to help them find meaning and a sense of purpose in their everyday so they don’t have to live a life just settling in a World that’s sick, constantly wandering “what if”?” –  It would make me truly happy. For me, that would be success.

After being hospitalised during my HSC year at 17 and then again at 18 and losing all my friends and who I thought I was within that year, I felt so alone and really fucking angry on a mission to seek answers.

Answers that I couldn’t find from doctors, psychologists or counsellors (and I went to several including other healers and therapists) about what the actual fuck happened to me, why and how can I prevent it from happening again. I would only be met with blank stares.

So I stopped trying to get help & went inward and found a lot of answers there throughout the years. Only a few people know the actual story of what happened to me over a decade ago and even fewer actually get it. And one day when I find peace and closure with it all, I will write a book.

The next level of my journey has really only just begun.
As My spiritual coach put it, “It’s like you’ve been spiritually orphaned, a lost wanderer trying to find your home”.

During the years that followed my hospital experience and in my desperate attempt to find a reason to want to wake up, get out of bed and live, I discovered Yoga and Natural Therapies and even became a massage therapist because I so wanted to help heal others.

My healing journey began only to realise years later I’m just a lost soul trying to find my place, in huge need of real spiritual guidance. But I wasn’t ready. I still had a long way to go, fucking hard challenges I had to face before I was ready to fully open up and really do the work required to get aligned and anchored to my truth. And the work continues but I now feel at home, like I am at a place where I feel a sense of belonging.

A few years later (3 years ago now) after graduating from Uni, I found the thing that gave me purpose. I found healing through my writing and sharing my story which has led to further growth and opportunities.

Having directly experienced the consequence of long-term chronic stress & illness, I just don’t believe there’s any point in pursuing work that makes you miserable and sick. Some people don’t get it & it is just an unreachable fantasy because they haven’t been to the edge of life yet.

I continue to pursue the work that lights me up because I have experienced that darkness to the point of near death. It really is amazing what you attract when you’re courageous enough to go where your passion is, when you do what you love and not give up following the things that inspire you.

It’s in that moment when you’re at the edge of life, stripped away of the beautiful yet simple things in life you once took for granted, you realise you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I get it and I understand the pain, the joy, the challenges one goes through when you choose this path.

That is why It’s my mission to help others feel aligned to their purpose and what lights them up and share their message and story with confidence so that they can make a meaningful impact through the work they’re most passionate about ❤️

What you might not know about me

IN Journal

There’s a big reason why I do what I do and in addition to being a creative junkie and completely obsessed with the work I do there are other things about me you may not know –

After 6 years in business, 3 of which had been online  – I knew there was more. I felt restless and my soul craved more freedom, I needed to find a way to make a more meaningful impact so I set out to explore what that meant. And along the way my passion for what I do growing stronger.

Today I am still on the journey of discovering who I am. And every day I aspire to live The Untamed Life and hope in sharing my message, will inspire others to live their version of it too.

And here’s what I believe –

When you have the right mindset & the courage to dig a little deeper to your truth & get real with yourself, I believe you open yourself up to more possibility, with access to more freedom and abundance – a feeling born from within that cannot be measured by external factors like money, material possessions or physical appearances.

I’ve had the privilege of coaching everyday soul seekers through their life and business transitions. I believe when we collectively work together, we have the power to make a bigger impact in this world. And I truly believe every single one of us has the potential to make a genuine difference. But the work starts within.

There’s been a few significant events in my life that have influenced where I am today. Major events like that really help you learn to appreciate the important and simple things in life + navigate challenges in order to rise above and thrive..

I am mostly passionate about 

inspiring others to courageously make a living doing what they’re most passionate about and live their truth, where they feel a deep and lasting sense of freedom, abundance and like anything is possible. And how to transition through challenges with more ease and flow whether it be in their personal life and or career/business.

People have told me –

I wear my heart on my sleeve, I’m brutally honest but mostly I’m extremely loving and kind. I am a minimalist, to be honest I’m content with very little at all and I cannot stand clutter.  But I am a Sagittarius so I like a bit of adventure, and I ain’t afraid to let it go if my soul has to compromise.

What else can I tell you –

Not to be mistaken as a weakness, I have more fire dragon in me then rainbows and unicorns, ha!. I enjoy old school R’n’B like naughty by nature and Notorious B.I.G. I can’t help but get up and dance when I hear those beats. I prefer writing over talking. I’m confident yet shy with a habit of losing my words sometimes. I value my time and don’t mind a glass of wine and a big greasy burger from time to time. I dislike small talk but always up for a d’n’m, You know those juicy, soul quenching convos with your girlfriends where you are left feeling on top of the world. I’m down for that. I’m also down for anything that nourishes the soul and raises the vibes!

Where did it all begin –

I began my entrepreneurial journey initially as a life coach when I made the transition from my previous career as a professional remedial massage therapist and decided to start a blog in late 2013. Since then, my journey both personally and professionally has evolved and transformed significantly that’s seen me take leaps of faith and make plenty of mistakes too but it’s all been worth it and I wouldn’t change a thing.

One of my big loves is writing –

I’ve been doing it since I was really young but not in the academic sense.

If I had kept on listening to the negativity around me and not trusted in myself, I wouldn’t be doing what I do now. I was a C grade student so I never really felt confident with it or pursued it until I decided to start a blog.

I get inspired by ideas, conversations and situations that trigger my ability to write on a particular topic and it will just flow. And that’s how I work with clients. It’s about expression, connection and communicating a message that speaks from your soul and resonates with your audience. To me, this is essentially what authentic marketing looks like. And we are marketing ourselves, through all channels of communication even when we don’t think we are!

But my life hasn’t always been smooth sailing –

There’s been a few significant events in my life that have influenced where I am today like a complete breakdown at the age of 17  where my whole body and nervous system shut down and it almost killed me (but sparked my journey into wellness & alternative health), a failed marriage by the age of 28 and one abusive workplace situation after the other. Major events like that really help you learn to appreciate the important and simple things in life + navigate challenges in order to rise above and thrive.

If there is one thing I’ve learnt, It’s that we are responsible for creating our own realities and the life we want. But we also hold the power to change it. At any moment!